Thursday, January 9, 2014

Organized Chaos

Despite the fact that it was colder than the Abominable Snowman's snowballs the kids went back to school this week. It's so quiet without the pitter-patter of smelly feet. For the first time I wasn't shoving the boys out the door the second break was over... maybe it's because they're older and it's just plain EASIER now. Maybe it's because I drink more.* Who knows? Honestly, though, I wouldn't have minded another purpose free day with the kids. Flake might have killed me, but I wouldn't have minded doing nothing with the boys. The problem with doing nothing, though (and trust me... this break we did a WHOLE stinking lot of absolutely nothing)- at least for me- is that it's really easy to go from "I'll just watch a little bit of the "Today Show" while I finish my coffee, then we'll get laundry going and be productive!" to "Sweet! Another six-hour marathon of Barney Miller!"

Truth: I love Barney Miller. And Magnum PI. I wish I really could find a six hour marathon. Sometimes, for no reason, I'll break into the Magnum PI theme song. Sometimes I even do it in public. I want a Detroit Tigers baseball cap to wear with my fake mustache. 

As Queen of Distraction (see my tiara?) I know the only way I'm going to get crap done is by making lists and then actually looking at the lists and doing what's on them. I'm big into lists, especially lists I can make on lined paper with good pens. Purple ink preferably. I looooooove making lists. Even my lists have lists. No, really:
From this summer. I told you so. 

Anyway, a couple of days ago I got on Pinterest in search of a biscuit recipe. Five hours later I'd downloaded 37 forms from Life Your Way to organize my life and my lists into one convenient binder. I love it. See, I'm also somewhat addicted to organizational items and concepts, most of which I never end up using... oh, but I love me some Office Depot and Staples and Office Max. I love the smell of Franklin Covey in the morning. I've been pretty much forbidden to ever purchase another planner- EVER... but I figured printing all of this stuff out was fair game, right? And it's pretty bad ass. It's like my lists got all juiced up by Jose Canseco, but with less chest pounding and morally repugnant behavior.** I've got personal information forms, places for insurance papers, pet shot records, weekly menus, and utility records. You could pretty much take over my life if you got your hands on this bad boy. (But please don't. I like my life. Except for toilets. I live in a house with three guys... you can TOTALLY take over cleaning toilets. There are four bathrooms in my house and NO ONE WILL JUST LET ME HAVE ONE TO MYSELF.)

Let me amend that... you could take over my life (toilets only, please)... AFTER I actually get it filled out. Because right now all you'd have are a bunch of neatly organized blank forms and a lovely list of our family's "Go-To Meals" (Hint: We like tacos) (Truth: Yes, I have 'sauteed zucchini and summer squash" listed... but I wouldn't advise it unless I'm the only person eating. Look, no Mom, Pirate or otherwise, wants a printed meal list that essentially says "Screw you vegetables!") Eventually, though... eventually my binder WILL be chock-full of informational goodness.

Later. Today I am getting a facial from my friend Mary Kay Heather. Dewy skin trumps bathroom cleaning lists. You know how I feel about the toilets.



*- Stop trying to send me to rehab, people. I don't really drink that much. Unless you're sending me to Promises Malibu or Crossroads in Antigua ***

**- I do not advocate the use of steroids, even for binders. 

***- I was not making fun of rehab or those with legitimate problems. But I wouldn't mind a trip to either Malibu or the islands, frankly. 


In all seriousness, a family binder or it's ilk isn't a bad thing to have. In the aftermath of the May 20th tornado, one of the things that struck me as I tried to help my friends was how MUCH there is to do... and how much they had to REMEMBER in able to do it. It was hell. Having your documents, utility information, even car insurance, VIN numbers, etc in one place- and then duplicated and stored securely in a secondary location as well- could be a lifesaver... or at the very least, a sanity saver. But you've gotta actually fill the stuff out. I recommend a nice purple pen.   

1 comment:

  1. love this! I need to get on this....ummm maybe when I finish school though...not enough hours in the day to fill out even more forms! :)

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