If you were to ask me on a NORMAL, AVERAGE DAY to take it down low, drop it like it's hot, work it down (read: drop my ass rhythmically to the ground in some approximation of dancing) I would laugh my ass off at you and reference The Great Cement Wall Incident of 1996 as the reason why this Mommy keeps her booty high and dry off the dance floor.
HOWEVER... if you add a couple hundred drunk women (a large proportion dressed in either tutus or superhero costumes), nekkid bartenders, and $2 Titos vodka drink specials, I'm suddenly Nikki-freaking-Minaj. Shawty got low, low, low, low,low. Now Mommy's in pain, pain, pain, pain, pain.
Worth every twinge. If you weren't at the Million Milf March put on by The Hot Mess Mom I am actively feeling sorry for you. I mean, really, there's a little bit of pity going on right now. If you had the means and chose not to go, though, I may just openly mock you. Because you missed out on the best damned time in the history of badly behaved womanhood. You can atone, however. Just start planning for 2014 NOW. Yes, now. It's not a sprint, dammit, it's a marathon and you have to TRAIN for it like a marathon. If you sprint you end up passed out in your hotel room by 10pm like the poor 27 year old bachelor party boys that tried to hang. Note that I said TRY.
Worth every twinge. If you weren't at the Million Milf March put on by The Hot Mess Mom I am actively feeling sorry for you. I mean, really, there's a little bit of pity going on right now. If you had the means and chose not to go, though, I may just openly mock you. Because you missed out on the best damned time in the history of badly behaved womanhood. You can atone, however. Just start planning for 2014 NOW. Yes, now. It's not a sprint, dammit, it's a marathon and you have to TRAIN for it like a marathon. If you sprint you end up passed out in your hotel room by 10pm like the poor 27 year old bachelor party boys that tried to hang. Note that I said TRY.
Because No One Parties like a MILF.
Pictures and video to come later... until then, where the hell is the ibuprofin?
Pictures and video to come later... until then, where the hell is the ibuprofin?
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| Bottoms up, bitches! |
Amen, my sister, to every word! This is one sore Betty from hoopin' it up at every possible opportunity, and getting down low, low, low...but I have to say it was
ReplyDeleteOne of the BEST WEEKENDS EVER!
ReplyDeleteWe are already making plans to up the game for next year.
Thanks for hanging with us. You are the best!
Peace, love, cocktails, hooping, and light,
- BettyRants